I'm sorry! I have stories to share, but... It's just, Paris fashion week sort of happened? And then there were all these fashion shows that I tried to find the time to watch but couldn't for the most part, because they either loaded too slowly, were too grainy for my liking, or didn't showcase the garments or accessories adequately.
Also, I was busy making a tuxedo and wedding gown for a pair of piggie plushies for Neptune's sister's wedding. Not to be conceited or anything, but really, for someone who claims to shop research fashion so extensively, the costumes turned out rather dismal, what with edges accidentally chopped off, frayed edges etc. I've hidden most of my mistakes but the result is still by no means impressive, unless you can do enough awesome ass mental gymnastics for a gold medal at the Self Delusion Olympics. I have a newfound respect for Project Runway contestants and now I totally get it when they lose it and freak out a few hours before deadline. And here I was working with plushies less than 10 inches tall! I guess I won't be a fashion designer after all. Sad. I was looking forward to rubbing shoulders with my favorite gay boys.
I have a few more valid excuses to explain the lack of blogging: - I'm camping at Neptune's place - School's starting again soon and it is rather depressing - New Fall/Winter collections are all over Internetland and I'm, uh, researching - When I find pictures of stuff I like, staring at them obsessively is compulsory - I'm sleepy - McDonald's Singapore has a lucky draw for a chance to win $10,000 - Neptune and I have been sleeping late because we've been trying to stay up to order McD's breakfast in the morning for another chance to win - We really need that $10k to finance a Paris getaway love - Also we would like a convertible - And perhaps a nice apartment - With a pretty view - And my Chanel bag Holy Grail? - I have a tummy ache
Help me out here with a few sympathy points... My MacBook is dying and I need to do a fresh install soon, which means wiping out all the data on it.
On a lighter note: I was dining with Neptune's family the other night when the conversation shifted to Neptune's refusal to eat certain green foodstuff (I can't believe this word exists! That's ridiculous!). As it became clear that the general consensus was of Neptune's peculiar palate, Mrs. In-Law referred to Neptune and remarked, "Isn't she queer?" and my mind began to race and was all, she did NOT just say that. I could feel the chemical explosions in my brain associated with an explosion of laughter in disbelief at the acute dramatic irony, and I probably killed several trillion neurons trying to keep a straight face. However, dinner proceeded without incident... thankfully.
Other than a few bad days here and there, life has been good to me. My academic semester begins early August, and Neptune is leaving again late August, so I promise much more blogging then; I'm sure I'll have plenty to complain about.
When my quarantine ended two weeks ago, I reflexively ran out of the house, arms flailing, waving the flag of freedom! And totally forgot that I had a blog... Whoooops. It's kind of a bummer that I didn't have the H1N1 virus after all. Can't believe I stayed dutifully cooped up in my room for so many centuries just to find out that I'm alive and well.
These two weeks have been extremely kind to me, mainly because I have been spending them with Neptune and her family, both of whom I love deeply. With the almost-exception of Mrs. In-Law who barged into our bedroom yesterday, yelling at us to "wake up now and do some useful work!" because she was mad at the wedding planner (and also, some clutter in her room).
I'd been on a plane in dreamland, had just received a free upgrade to first class, and was just stretching my legs out preparing to nap... When Mrs. In-Law made that unapologetic announcement of her wrath. But then I sought tranquility within the depths of my soul and begged it for the generosity of forgiveness. When it did not happen, I decided to stay in bed and pretend not to have heard a word of her outburst. I rarely find fault with Mrs. In-Law, or any member of Neptune's family for that matter, but yesterday when that rare occurrence of resentment appeared, I found myself in a monologue that emphasized repeatedly how this lady gave life to the Neptune I adore so much. And I couldn't stop myself from giving her super mega ultra kudos for that. How not to love her now?
I also love Mrs. In-Law's older sister (Neptune's aunt) because she's funny and efficient: She brought us to Jimmy Choo, where she bought her daughter (Neptune's cousin) a pair of heels in half an hour, and Chanel, where she bought a bag within, like, fifteen minutes. I fail to comprehend how that is humanely possible, but I would like to be adopted by her.
Neptune has also been scoring major brownie points lately. Neptune's sister brought us to an excellent nail parlor just yesterday, where we all received pedicures. Neptune had unwaveringly refused to get her nails done all afternoon, until I played the 'you said you'd do anything for me' card, which is the sort of card you're supposed to play only once or twice in any relationship... So I guess I spent mine on a pedicure. Totally worth it, though! For some reason, it makes me stupidly happy to have my first pedicure (ever!) done with with Neptune.
We spent last weekend apart because I had to be with my family, and on Sunday evening when I met up with Neptune again, I found her particularly excitable, almost high-strung and nervous. I sensed something in the air but couldn't put my finger on it, and so dismissed it as my imagination. Neptune sat me down, told me that she had a gift for me, and demanded that I shut my eyes. When I next opened my eyes, I found that she'd set a Christian Dior shopping bag before me. I was confused and immediately assumed that I was playing right into a prank, an assumption in large part due to the fact that Neptune was recording me on video.
Opening the huge Dior box, I found a Dior dustbag within, and when I saw cannage stitching peeking out from within, I said, "NO. No way. This is for your mom, right!?" I was completely baffled. Neptune has neither ever been interested in designer goods, nor ever approved of my splurging on them. I've never owned any Dior handbags, except one which I bought online and sold for a 100% profit, but I'd done enough research (read: deranged and intense staring) online to recognize what the box, dustbag and cannage stitching meant.
Dior was the first high-end designer I fell in love with; when I was 14, I accidentally stumbled past a boutique and became instantly besotted with Dior's structured bags and Galliano's extravagant haute couture runway shows. Being a penniless and jobless 14-year-old, I often intentionally strolled past the boutique several times a day just to catch a glimpse of the art I could not afford to own. (I still do, sometimes.) Seven years later, I'm still looking for the perfect First Dior Bag. But as I removed a gorgeous Lady Dior East/West from its dustbag, I knew my search was over:
I love everything about this bag: The beautiful cannage stitching, the defined shape, the longer handles, the Dior padlock at the side, the Dior letter charms... Elegant and timeless. Even the size is perfect for me, which is hard to come by because I am short and consequently extremely fussy about bag sizes. But then Neptune had make it all even better by choosing a pale pink for me, which I LOVELOVELOVE:
I love that my first Dior is a Lady Dior; I love that it's pink; I love that it will always remind me of Neptune, who made an effort to remember when I remarked that I liked the cannage stitching (I don't even remember if and when I made that comment). But above all, I love that there was no occasion for it, that Neptune saw it at a store and was thinking of me, and bought it for me just because.
The strangest thing is that I'd been looking at the very same bag that morning, and would've added it to the wishlist on my blog, but didn't have the time to because I'd been rushing out to meet up with Neptune.
I'm thinking that I should start some kind of reward program for Neptune, since she's been scoring so many brownie points lately. Maybe for every ten points, she gets to limit my spending for one month, or smear cake on my face, or cut my waffles the wrong way (YES THERE IS A RIGHT WAY)...
I was playing pool with my friends and my red Louis Vuitton Epi Leather Speedy 25:
I usually like to be connected to my handbags at all times, even if I'm carrying a $10 bag that day, just because I carry many items on me that have sentimental value. My friends however convinced me to place my bag on a stool nearby while we shot pool, and I finally relented because the LV Epi Leather line is a very (and beautifully) subtle one, and so I assumed that it wouldn't be stolen during the thirty seconds away from my arm.
Suddenly a vagabond entered the scene and randomly fired away with a real gun. I looked over at my purse, and discovered to my horror that it'd sustained a gunshot!! Now there was chaos all over the place, a blur of screams and flailing limbs. But I was SO pissed off that I went right up to the crazy dude who shot my bag, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yelled, "Oh no you didn't. NO WAY. Are you kidding me? ARE YOU FRIKKIN' KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW. Of all the people in this room you could've hit, you shot my BAG? Like, srsly!?"
And I was so upset that I hauled his sorry ass to jail and started filing numerous lawsuits.
Then I woke up because I needed to pee. Am still furious at this non-existent criminal, though. Also, sadly, I don't own that beautiful red bag. I think I had this dream because I'm subconsciously mad at people who mistreat their designer bags; just yesterday I was watching a documentary on the production process of a Chanel haute couture collection, and in the background a woman placed her Chanel purse on the ground. ON THE GROUND. I reflexively roarrrred at my screen, "LADY YOU DO NOT PLACE CHANEL ON THE GROUND!" My mom ran into my room and cried, "WHAT HAPPENED!?" and I was like, "Uhhhh, nothing! Sorry! I was on the phone."
But yeah. Jeez, people. I don't care how many figures you earn every year; beautiful bags don't belong on the ground, PERIOD. It's like using Picasso's canvas as your doormat. Tsk! >:[
I doubt this even needs to be mentioned, but the quarantine is obviously driving me cah-ray-zee!
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Update: Aha! I've found the likely cause of my weirdass dream (from Bag That Style):
Marc Jacobs, who probably is (and should be) every gay man's dream. I wish he were my big brother. Just imagining all the clothes, handbags and shoes I'd get to see in real life makes me almost pass out in joy. ANYWAY... The main point of these photos is the lovely black Hermes Birkin that he is resting on the ground. I completely understand that petting puppies is a vital task indispensable to the continuance of life, but still!? I can't shake off the image in my head of the colonies of bacteria climbing up onto the bag from the ground and multiplying all over the leather. &^@*#&@^&#
But... It's Marc Jacobs. Who can fault him!? I certainly can't, and probably suppressed it, resulting in the abovementioned weirdass dream.
Birkins are slightly overpriced and overrated IMHO; I don't like their weight or structure, which is excellent news for my savings account. They're still beautiful bags, though; from what I've read, the leather probably feels and smells divine. If I owned one of those, I would probably carry a portable foldout chair with me at all times, just to make sure Birkin has a nice, clean place to rest its beautiful bottom. To quote Sex and the City, "It's not a bag; it's a fucking Birkin!"
Apparently Maki prefers to sleep on her pink dino house rather than inside it. It's probably because the weather has been scorching lately, and maybe that's the coolest spot in her cage. During the night I often check on Maki, only to find her tumbling backwards onto the cage floor, or stuck in the corner behind her dino house.
I missed her so much during my vacation in the U.S., and now that I'm quarantined on suspicion of having the stupid shitass flu, I'm keeping a distance from her; the last thing I want is to infect her. So I was looking through some archives and found these photographs, taken on December 3, 2008, right after Maki tried to chew out her wooden bridge and made a mess of the wood shavings:
So I fluffed out the fur on her head to make her a fohawk (faux mohawk):
Yes, that is indeed a really suspicious unidentified orange speck near her left eye and I have no idea how it got there.
Maki, Maki... I'll never trade you away, not even for Christian Louboutin heels. <3
Shopping update from the last entry: I bought those beautiful Stuart Weitzman sandals that Neptune and I found! After traveling all over two cities, we finally settled on the first pair that I'd tried on and rejected. I would've been willing to pay the full price, but thankfully they were having a sale, and I scored them shoes at a very indecent discount. Yay!!! Here's a stock photo I found online:
Stuart Weitzman Cinture in Tropical Jacquard
Every shoe is hand-painted so each pair is unique. Mine has a lot more white and black in it, which I love so much more than the (a little too much too much) orange and red in this picture. They have a 4" heel but my feet have never known such luxury! I could've walked away from the shoe in my $9.90 platforms, but I tried them on and there was no way I could've forgotten the opulent arch support that this pair of wedges afforded my feet. Neptune and I both knew I would've regretted not purchasing them, so Neptune paid for them and I have some time to save up and pay her back.
I'm officially in debt. No more designer bags and shoes for me until next year!
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This is the book I'm currently reading:
And now I know exactly what to do if I met a mountain lion, how to jump from a moving train, and how to save a choking cat. I had to get this book because it reminded me of the time Neptune remarked casually that I was very pessimistic, and I was so shocked that I nearly dislodged my lower jaw. I'd never realized that about myself.
One of the professors who lectures at my school likes to remind us that most of the time, the law places a focus on the worst case scenarios: The majority of contracts are performed without a hitch, and most relationships, both personal and commercial, never deteriorate to the point where the parties take their issues to court. Yet the only cases we study involve contractual relationships that break down irretrievably, and so the professor likes to caution us against the failure to place our study of the law in its proper focus.
I hadn't even realized it at all. I'd just assumed that most (if not all) contracts would run into legal conflict, and as a consequence, I always have to read those eleventeen thousand pages of Terms and Conditions online before clicking the 'Accept' button to create maybe an account for a forum on handbags.
Neptune complained and whined as I scrolled through the gazillion pages of the contract before I allowed her to update her Xbox 360, so she knows the torture I feel obliged to put myself through because I'm just paranoid that somehow somewhere down the road, we're going to deal with lawyers and courts. I missed a few paragraphs in that longass document, primarily because Neptune really, really wanted to play Tales of Vesperia already and I really, really just wanted to get through the contract while preserving my sense of sight. But I can't help worrying about those paragraphs I missed. I'm sure they will return to haunt me in a few years.
To be honest, though, I think my pessimism is more an aspect of character rather than an inevitable consequence of the consistent emphasis on pessimistic expectations; many jobs, including lawyering, involve problem-solving, and dealing with worst case scenarios is a natural focus of such a task.
But anyway, while I was reading the abovementioned book, I thought it would be funny if the book published a section on How To Deal With The H1N1 Virus.
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Around eleven this morning, I heard a loud knock on my door, and then my mom dragged me out of bed by the arm, yelling, "The police are here, THE POLICE ARE HERE!!!!" As I answered the door, I swear my Grand Theft Auto IV saved data flashed before my eyes. On that video game, I am constantly killing people and stealing their cash; as a result the police sirens are almost always constantly wailing as the in-game police try to hunt me down. Neptune and I have a running joke that whenever the police or ambulance in real life pass us by, it's because they're looking for me or trying to clean up after my crimes. For a split moment I flipped through my archived memories and tried to remember if I had a dead body or two stashed away somewhere that the police may have found.
A policeman and a lady entered our apartment, both in gloves and a surgical mask. The policeman was really formal about things, which made me nervous; he started off by introducing the lady as the 'witness' and then informed me that the government was serving me a quarantine order, which made me less nervous because at least I didn't have an evil twin killing people, stashing their carcasses and implicating me. The absence of murder charges can only be a good thing, and I am thankful for it.
Anyway, apparently someone on my return flight became a confirmed case of swine flu; as of today I am stuck in my room until next week because of that asshole. I'm kind of hoping that I get the flu, just because I constantly seek this sort of once-in-a-lifetime occurrences.
I've always wanted to have a near-death experience. Besides bragging rights, I think it would place many things in an exceptional perspective for me... Not to mention, dying people always get the best gifts. Just in case I'm dying: CLICK HERE! for my current wishlist. I would also like you by the side of my bed. I love flowers in bright colors, but only Neptune knows my favorite color of roses.
Dum dum dee dum. So bored and I can't leave my room except to pee... Thank God for online shopping! And you guys, of course. <3 Yes I am kissing your ass because I am lonely. :(
Quote of the day: "Three cheers for [name/person], as much use as a fart in a jam jar!"
For some reason, this line from the movie Imagine Me & You (2005) keeps replaying itself in my head today. Right now I'm waiting for Neptune to wake up so we can get some last-minute shopping done before I leave tomorrow (and Neptune, the day after), so I have nothing much else to do right now and decided to write about British accents. You see? There is a logical progression of events here; it's just that neither of us realizes it yet.
Neptune and I watched the British film IM&Y together some time back, and ever since that day, I've been awestricken by the British accent, particularly when used in swearing. From now on I'm going to say "PISS OFF!" instead of "FUCK YOU!" but of course, you need to say it right. It has to be pronounced like so: "Piss Awwwwww-ff!" and you have to totally drag the 'aww' sound, because dragging that sound is an assertion of poshness: I am so classy when I swear. Do you not hear the sophistication dripping from my malicious yet undeniably elegant utterance? Would you like a cup of my finest Earl Grey?
So... yeah. I'm not that classy but I hope to try. Time to wake Neptune up for shopping; we're supposed to have been out of the house three hours ago. Today we're on the hunt for a pair of wedges that I fell in love with but didn't buy because they were the last pair and defective. I wish they didn't cost 335 USD, either. The most expensive pair of shoes I currently own is less than 50 USD; I just refuse to step on anything more expensive than that, KWIM? The weight of my ass would just crash the poor shoe to smithereens.
But at least they're cheaper than most of the stuff I like. Just yesterday Neptune and I found the most gorgeous pair of heels ever and they turned out to be Christian Louboutin, which means I'll probably have to pawn all my belongings and my hamster AND MY HAMSTER'S BELONGINGS just to afford them. Poor Maki, traded away for shoes! Next to all the beautiful Christian Louboutins, Jimmy Choos and Diors, those wedges suddenly look so much more affordable. Hopefully I get them on a discount today. We'll see! ;D
I'm returning to Singapore this weekend and I would like to die. The shopping sucks, the food sucks, the weather sucks, the customer service sucks, and worst of all? THEY HAVE NO TOILET SEAT COVERS. Obviously there is no better reason to emigrate than the dismal lack of toilet seat covers. Why is Singapore so primitive!? I can't believe I have to leave the U.S. so soon, but I guess on the bright(?) side, it means more regular blog updates.
Also, the reason why I am grumpy despite all the awesome shopping and video games that Neptune and I have been enjoying: Examination grades were released recently and AS EXPECTED, the module I srsly busted my ass for? I did the worst at that one out of all three. And then the module I hated? Well, all through the semester, I refused to do my readings because it stood for something important to me, kind of like civil disobedience.
So I ended up with one semester's worth of readings*, which I crammed into my head for all of ONE day... and still did awesome on that paper. I hate that my results are directly proportional to lack of effort. I hate law school so much right now. Thank goodness it's still summer, and I still have two months before school starts again. Time to plan that law textbook bonfire I've always been dreaming about.
*These readings were so thick that if I were to thump someone on the head with them, I would surely be charged with attempted murder; many times I have stared at the pile of paper thinking of ways to get away from it all. I thought paper cuts was a good idea. I could just run my fingers down the side of all them eleventeen thousand sheets, and die of excessive blood loss. Neat-o!
The postman woke me up this morning with some of the loudest door knocks that I've heard in my entire life, and now I can't fall back asleep... Here! Have some random thoughts of mine.
Facebook is such a great social network for stalkers. I looked up a few acquaintances just to see how they were doing, and it's the same old, same old. W's relationship status is (and I mean this in the most politely insulting way) still 'engaged' to her best friend; X and Y are broken up but still trying to pretend that a close friendship is sustainable in the aftermath; Z is still trying too hard and her blue eyeshadow doesn't match her clothes or her skin tone. Some couples are still together and others are still fighting. Pretty much everyone saw all that coming. Sometimes life can be so predictable.
I wish I had more disposable income to shop at Louis Vuitton... and I don't mean online; the Seattle boutique has such great customer service! My favorite SA (sales associate) there is so nice to me that the moment I walk out of the boutique, I feel like walking right back in just to chat with her. Plus, she fawned over the Swarovski strawberry charm on my wallet and totally scored major brownie points.
Last week I ordered some stuff from the LV website. Shipping took three to five days, which is Forever in the online shopping realm. I guess their clients can usually more than afford upgrading to next day shipping for an extra $30. But you see, if you save on the $30 for 30 items, that would get you another pretty nice LV bag. Totally worth it! Here are my purchases (stock photos from Louis Vuitton):
Montorgueil PM in Monogram
Eva Clutch in Monogram
Speedy Inclusion Key Ring in Berry
Purchasing from their website was so disappointing, though. I ended up exchanging the Eva clutch for a new one because of a scratch on the metal plate, and exchanging the Montorgueil GM that I ordered for the PM above (same style, smaller size). The GM srsly dwarfs me! Well I guess at 5'2, I'm already a dwarf. Carrying the GM makes me look like a miniature collectible item. But I loved having an excuse to return to my favorite SA at the Seattle boutique, and Neptune didn't complain either because they always treat us right. Granted, it's Louis Vutton, hello!? But high-end boutiques don't always translate to excellent customer service, so I'm glad that in this case, it did.
Oh well! Now I'm on an official six-month bag ban. My LVs will last me a decade, literally, so it's all good. (Maybe a Chanel, Chloe or Dior next year?)
I love pretty things! The pretty things I pick out just happen to be expensive. I SWEAR IT IS A CURSE. The other day Neptune and I were browsing shoes at Nordstrom. Well, I was browsing shoes and Neptune was exhausted and resting her feet in the area. I went to the sales rack and examined a pair of plain pink pumps... which I discovered to be $399.90. So I gave up and went to soak in the lovely YSL, Prada and Dior scenery instead. I mean really? Ugly shoes on sale for $400 in this economy? When did shoes get this popular?
And then the strangest thing happened: Neptune picked out a pair of Dior booties in a style that for some time was appropriated across runways worldwide. I remember reacting to it in a most snobbish manner when I first came across those pair of shoes online because I thought they were ugly, but Neptune asked me to try them on, so I did. And they looked pretty! I felt so unfairly blindsided because Neptune is not the most designer fashion-forward and has trouble with some instances of color coordination. But there it was before my eyes, incontrovertible proof that, by some miraculous manifestation of fashion intuition, Neptune had chosen a beautiful pair of shoes that I'd dismissed as ugly. It was quite the blow to my ego.
Well, at least my other half has good taste.
Alright Imma go off and spend some quality time with the xbox 360! Neptune and I bought a brand new 24" LCD screen and hooked it up to the 360, and ever since then, gaming has never been the same. I'm glad we didn't adopt the cat we were planning to. Giving a kitty a second chance is great and will probably get me so much closer to the Promised Land, but man... The 24" screen is SO MUCH BETTER.
[Addendum] Srsly though -- and I'm not saying this just to gain brownie points with the Almighty -- Neptune and I decided against adopting only because our financial and living situation is too volatile to be healthy for a pet. But if you're in the market for a pet, please consider adopting. This way you'll avoid sponsoring some irresponsible breeders; you'll also know the exact behavior and personality of your pet, which would probably not be the case if you bought a young'un instead. I read an article online about how numerous animal shelters had to shut down because of the flailing economy, and it made me cry to know that those animals had to be put to sleep because of a lack of funds.
I know, it's been a many-multi-ga-frickin'-zillion years since I last updated, and the mold on my blog has since grown up, got married, and brought up baby fungi. And also they started a civilization of their own and are now so evolved that they actually have opposable thumbs and are planning to take over the world. I know, I know. I'm sorry! I've been too busy living, which you should be doing too. Someday the mold might destroy the world and then you'd regret not visiting Venice or Paris. Though, maybe they can take Shanghai. A parasitic fungal mess or Chinese people? HMMMM... It's an unearthly hour here and I'm just not awake enough to tell the difference.
Anyway. Updates!
14th May: I arrived safely in Seattle after 27 grueling hours spent waiting. Just waiting, at the airports and on the planes. DO NOT connect at Shanghai, ever. That airport just doesn't reward thinking. I over-thought things, as usual, and tried to follow signs that said 'transfer to domestic' and 'transfer to international', which brought me to, respectively: A suspicious, empty and dimly lit room, and a huge area of the airport that was unmanned and unlit. I should've just followed the crowd. Also? My luggage was supposed to have been checked in all the way to Seattle but I found it sitting all by its lonesome and spinning about in the luggage claim area. It was impressive to me that it wasn't lost, though. An airport run by fungus could have done better, but oh well. I should've known to expect less.
There were many, many other problems involving blisters and pain but I'm going to sum it up with this simple one-liner: I'm going to stab myself to death if I have to connect at Shanghai ever again. SRSLY.
It's not like I should complain though; Neptune's sister paid for the flight, bless her generous, chic soul. Anyway I can't say I was unhappy at all when I arrived at Neptune's apartment. When I saw her in person again for the first time in months, I knew then that whatever disgusting fungal entities I had to deal with, it was all worth it. I would wade through a sea of fungus for her and you must know how much it takes away from me to say that, what with my OCD.
15th May: We caught Wolverine at the cinema, and then... SHOPPING! I finally found a pretty dress to wear to Neptune's sister's wedding. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to ask Neptune what color her sister would be wearing, otherwise I would have chosen the exact same color, though her dress would still have smacked mine to the ground easily anyways. BUT STILL. That was a close shave! It's like the time she wrote about her new purchase, a gorgeous black Prada clutch, and it was the exact same one that I'd been saving up to buy. It was a good thing, though. That money was freed up to go into something else. :)
17th May: Neptune and I celebrated our second anniversary! We explored many options, including overseas vacations and cruises, but decided that a quiet evening at home was the most economic and meaningful one. After all, a celebration of love needs no fancy restaurants or extravagant gifts. We planned a three-course dinner including steak and mashed potatoes in the main course, cooked it, dressed up and ate it as if in a private restaurant, and then danced to my remix of cheesy love songs. We then played a game: Each of us hid ten cards around the house for the other to find, and on those cards we wrote instructions on how to complete the card (eg. romantic things like having to hug the other person a certain number of times, or funnyass things like having me stick a ball of cotton wool on my arse and hopping around like a bunny). The first one to find and complete all ten cards won! We tied at 9 out of 10 after about one hour of searching and completing those tasks.
That's when the night became a little confusing.
We'd bought a bottle of white wine for the evening, and decided to finish it by playing drinking games. Only... Clubs and stuff aren't really our scene, the thang we rock is more like staying home and watching a funny movie, KWIM? So we didn't know any drinking games and ended up playing Pictionary. For those of you who aren't as educated in useless things, that's the game where one person conveys a specified word or phrase through drawings, and the other person/party has to guess it. Long story short, we finished a 1.5 liter bottle of wine in twenty minutes flat, and after something I can't remember, we fell asleep.
About half an hour later, I found puke on my back and on the bed. Neptune was a mess, and threw up quite a few times. Mind you, I was wasted myself; carrying Neptune (she couldn't even stand) to the toilet and cleaning her up was a feat I did not know I could complete while unable to walk in a straight line. Eventually I tried to work the sofabed, but the sofa would not turn into a bed, and after sitting on the carpet and laughing to myself at the sofa (which was upside down) for awhile, I actually found Neptune's sister online and managed to somehow describe the situation (albeit in a convoluted manner). Unfortunately she didn't know how to operate the sofabed, and Neptune ended up sleeping on the clean side of her queen-sized bed.
At around 4AM, nearly three hours after the beginning of the entire drunken fiasco, I decided to creep into bed next to Neptune. Looking back, I wish I'd slept on the carpet instead, because when I lay next to her, I accidentally elbowed her, and she immediately woke up, sat up and threw up again. Thank goodness I am always paranoid, and I'd brought along an empty cup and a plastic bag just in case. Poor Neptune. I shouldn't have poured so much wine out for her!
24th May: Ah my Louis Vuitton panic attack. I'd put off purchases for months because my priority had been to save up enough for Neptune and I. After balancing the accounts, though, I realized that I had enough to buy my very first LV and still have enough for our shopping. After we bought Neptune a new 24" LCD screen, an xbox wireless cable (she's such a geek... I love it!) and a new travel bag, she convinced me to finally place my very first LV order because she knew how much I wanted it. I slept on it, though, and planned to order it online the very next morning.
When I woke up, to my horror, it was gone!!! Out of stock and DISCONTINUED! I frantically contacted a sales associate, located the items in the ONLY Vuitton boutique in Washington state which just happens to be in Seattle, and Neptune and I picked it up the next day. Here they are, stock photos courtesy LV:
Gorgeous limited edition Monogram Roses Pochette for my mum... It's her birthday gift! I hope I inherit it back, in about twenty years. I've opened the box at least ten times over the past two days just to stare at its prettiness...
Vernis Sarah Wallet in Rose Pop, the wallet I'd been eyeing since the beginning of time. Like, srsly. The world was created in seven days, and on the eighth? ANGELIQUE WANTED THIS WALLET. I would have cried if I'd missed it. Both items have been discontinued as of two days ago, so if you want anything in the monogram roses or vernis line, you'd better be calling around the LV boutiques and placing them on hold just in case, before they're gone forever!
I'm currently hanging this strawberry charm on the wallet (stock photo from Swarovski):
It's even more adorable in person! I love Swarovski jewelry so much because they sparkle like crazy... And I've since built up a tiny collection. Blame Neptune's sister for the inspiration!
Neptune paid for the LV wallet as my 21st birthday present, and I don't think I could ever love any wallet as much as I love this one! It's not only my first LV, but also from my favoritestestestest person in the entire world. <3
Next stop: The Vernis Wilshire Boulevard in rose pop! :D :D :D
In my dreams, anyway. It'll probably be sold out or discontinued by the time I save up.
25th May: I tried on a pair of Jimmy Choos for the first time ever and it has changed my life. I am now a new person, and my life goals have changed from Financially Comfortable Life to Life With Jimmy Choos On Display. I would never wear out a pair of shoes that costs more than a few hundred, ever, just because I know I'd destroy them, but I dream of a temperature- and humidity-controlled environment for those shoes and all my bags. Neptune and I did a whole lot of shopping as well! We finally found me a pair of shades that didn't make me look like a blind person. They were from Guess, though. Not my favorite brand, but the price is me likeys!, so I bought it. I also convinced Neptune to purchase a pair of Calvin Klein shades that she looks absolutely stunning in and paid for both pairs. Yay for us! We're ready to combat the awful perennial sunshine overdose in Singapore!
Neptune and I later passed by two guys who had a sign up saying that they needed money for their dogs, and here's the interesting part: Their two chihuahuas were dressed up and sitting right there with them, as well as two almost newborn puppies!!!!! I think these are the smartest beggars I've ever met. I donated a little and got to carry the chihuahua puppy; it fit right into the palm of my hand and fell asleep as I cradled it in my chest. MONEY WELL SPENT. Tip for beggars: PUPPIES.
Other than that, Neptune and I have been in a bubble of bliss. Most nights we stay at home watching TV or a movie, or playing a video game and fall asleep holding hands. Every night I think: If only every night would be just like tonight.
I woke up late and now I have to rush to the airport, so let's see how much crap I can author in the next five minutes, since this might be my Last Entry Ever (I always have an irrational fear of dying unexpectedly).
If I were to die tomorrow, I would really regret eating all that candy. I've always envisioned myself being ten pounds lighter. I would like to die pretty.
Yesterday I was reading an entry about healthy eating habits, and came across these two maxims:
"What you eat today you wear tomorrow." "You are what you eat."
If I could pick and choose between these two, between being a chocolate-stuffed marshmallow and wearing one, I'd go with the later. I say one humiliating fashion faux pas is better than being reduced to the existence of a squishy white shapeless substance with poop-colored stuffing. Unless you are the type of person who enjoys being soft and edible. That's okay, we all have our quirks. I like to examine my poop for color and texture; it's like a sacred art form to me. Who am I to judge you?
I guess it'd really work to my advantage if I became what I ate, though. I'd eat Bill Gates for sure, just for financial security, and then I'd eat a bird. I would like to be a tiny pink birdie with really pretty eyes and a white beak. I want my poop to be like tiny brown marbles, though. I hate watery poop.
Why hello there! Here is a tiny update for you. I am back after having fallen off the face of the earth. It was nice living under a rock, but now I am ready to recommence participation in society.
I'm leaving Singapore for the U.S. in about two days, and will be there with Neptune for hopefully two months. The flights were booked using Neptune's sister's frequent flyer miles. I still can't believe I allowed her to do that for me, but rejecting the offer would've been the same as giving up quality time alone with Neptune. I don't think I'm capable of doing that... even if it meant giving up shopping forever.
I would like to win the lottery. Just once, please?
Against my will and just as I'd predicted, I have begun missing law school. For some reason, law school gives me immense masochistic satisfaction in the knowledge that I have something incredibly irritating in my life to annoy me every single day... as if having parents wasn't enough.
Maki is still doing her thang, manipulating me into feeding her whenever she wants food. She knows where the yummy box is, and when she's hungry, she stands up on her two hind feet and stuffs her nose in between the bars of her cage -- in the direction of the yummy box -- to get a whiff of the yummies. And then she bites on the bars of the cage to rattle them, and stops the moment I appear because she knows I'm about to let her out. I have to. She always has the last say.
A bruise mysteriously materialized on my knee today, right after the exam on Equity and Trusts. I think the exam paper kicked me. Today went as well as law exams could possibly go, which means I will, in all likelihood, end up with a score one grade lower than the one I'd expected to get. Trust me when I say that I am working extremely hard at expecting an A+. Plus, I studied really hard on this exam, which means that life will kick me where it hurts most by giving me the lowest grade for this paper. And then I will ace the one which I spent all of one hour preparing for.
I'm being a grouchy bitch because I have another exam in four days. I'm so grouchy that I could out-grouch Oscar from Sesame Street right now, and the trash can that he lives in? It would evict me just to get rid of my grouchiness. And then the UN would have to call an international summit to deal with the dangerous level of grouchiness in the atmosphere because it endangers the future of the entire universe. North Korea would then harvest my grouchiness to attempt building a nuclear bomb (because they're just annoying that way).
I really couldn't think of a title for this entry, sorry!
I haven't been around for awhile because SOME SCHOOL (I won't say which) decided that it would be a good idea to torment their students with final year exams! Because apparently torture on a daily basis isn't enough. So here are snippets on some of the important things in my life right now:
My thumb
My thumb smells funny. I think it's because of the upcoming exams. I wish my exams died. :(
Swine Flu
Dude, we need to exercise proper hygiene! I bet this fiasco all started because someone touched animals (or their droppings) and didn't wash his hands before touching his face. Then he sneezed without using a piece of tissue, which resulted in others being infected. These others then proceeded to cough or spit without using tissue. And now we have a possible pandemic on the way all because some guy decided that it would be okay to be disgusting and impolite, and now my parents are freaking out. If they ban me from traveling to the U.S. this summer because of the swine flu, SOMEONE IS GOING TO PAY. So all of you better wash your hands properly and stay safe because it affects my vacation plans.
You do NOT want to mess with my vacation plans.
Have you washed your hands properly today?
This brings to my mind an evening some months ago: My dad was driving me home from school and in the distance, I spotted a guy (hereafter known as 'Troll') spitting into the grass. As we drove past, I scrolled the window down and yelled at Troll, "SPITTING IS ILLEGAL!" Yes I do have anger management issues but AT LEAST I AM LAW-ABIDING.
And now for a joke that only law students and lawyers will understand: Like equity, I follow the law. Also, one who comes into equity must come with clean hands.
This joke makes me feel really depressed because the exam day after tomorrow is on Equity and Trusts.
Neptune
This coming Sunday marks our second anniversary! However, due to the sadistic nature of my exams, I'm flying over only two weeks later to celebrate it with her on 17th May. We celebrated last year on the very same day, which also marks the anniversary of the first time we kissed. I'm thinking we should really just go ahead and change our anniversary to 17th May, but then we already have our promise rings engraved with 3rd May.
Maki
Maki has learnt to pick up on my body language! When I run towards her while rapidly calling out her name in a high pitch, she races out of her cage and then stands upright on her hind paws, which tippity-tap towards me, while she sticks her nose high up in the air sniffing for edible things. This immediately manipulates me into giving her a favorite snack.
Maki has also learnt the benefits of playing dead, and sometimes when I rub her tummy, she simply lies on the ground, motionless. This is often alarming and I offer her food straight away because I know that Maki is so greedy that she would, without hesitation, postpone dying for a little while even if for just one sunflower seed.
However, she is still eating her poop, which precludes my initial belief that she may have become more intelligent.
My secret is that I love the pre-exam period. Those of us who have been or are students should be more than familiar with the anxiety of upcoming exams, confusion, paper in mid-air twirls... Unless you're an overachiever and always ace exams, always have your timetable planned out neat and perfect. I hate you. Go away. This blog is for normal people only.
I love the week just before the exams because I get stressed, and then I get restless and bored, and my head becomes filled with more creative projects than I can handle. I have in mind a complete concept (including sketches and color schemes) for a collection of plushies, and they're all going to be in cuboid, marshmallowy shapes.
Marshmallows are so cute. I like how they melt, but I hate them melted. It's a skill that must be mastered, the way you make a perfectly roasted marshmallow; you need patience, a marshmallow, a good source of heat and plenty of love. And a skewer. Neptune and I made a man out of marshmallows once, at a barbecue where we fell in love. I will never forget that night. I wish we had smaller marshmallows to build with.
Tiny marshmallows are the cutest, but that's probably because I like things in all the wrong proportions, really tiny things or really huge things, like, I have this one handbag with an oversized zipper and I love it to death because it's so odd. I don't like oversized marshmallows though. They taste best in small doses.
The ones I like best are those that come packaged and sold along with cocoa powder -- I forgot the brand, but it's either Swiss or German. The marshmallows are less than 1/4 inch long and I place them in a bowl separate from the warm cocoa. I hate them in my cocoa because they melt too quickly and then I'm left with a gross marshmallow-cocoa mix. I take a sip of cocoa, and then scoop three tiny marshmallows into my mouth and chew on the sugary goodness. It is divine.
It's raining noodles! Hallelujah! And the noodles shall inherit the earth!
If you know me, pretend you don't. If you don't know me, don't pretend you do.
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I still believe pigs can fly.
Angelique
20 nov 1988
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