The past three hours can only be adequately described by the word SIGH. Thinking that I was taking a step towards improving my relationship with God, no this is not a long preachy thing so please stay with me, I agreed to sit through a session thingy with a very Christian Mrs. In-Law and a very reluctant Neptune. THINKING that maybe for once, I could make an effort to step into someone else's shoes and see what all this spiritual fuss is about. And of course, it turned out to be very... sigh.
The sharing session was led by a heterosexual couple (why I am highlighting the heterosexual part will become evident later), and it was interesting because they had a different take on the religion from most that I've heard. In many ways it felt like a lecture in literature class, and for the most part I enjoyed it because of the different perspectives on the same ol' concepts. No wonder we have the Catholics and the Protestants and the whatever else, and all think the others got it wrong. I totally get that part, and I totally respect whatever anyone makes of whatever, actually I don't give a flying hamster's arse about religious beliefs. More often than not it's a starting point for conflict, so I am totally chill about it. TOTALLY CHILL. You can worship a cow and I respect that, as long as nobody goes and tells me I can't worship mine medium rare with sauce on the side.
The focal point of the session was essentially that a belief in God is enough to get you an eternal afterlife, as long as that faith is evidenced by your deeds because on Judgment Day God will be all, "Behold! Let Mine own eyes peer into this book and decide what reward or punishment you deserve because everything you have ever done has been listed here!" Okay. So at this point I was very gleeful and happy with myself because I was all, OMG I BELIEVE! But what if I am the first lesbian to enter heaven, right? AND THEN we get to the last part, and the last part seems to always be about condemnation and revelations or something. The only revelation for me, though, arrived when the female half of the heterosexual couple went on to preach that God gives up on people who insist on pursuing sin, such as idolatry and YES YOU GUESSED IT, homosexuality. She was all, "YES, HOMOSEXUALITY IS WRONG! God has given up on people like that."
And I realised in that moment that God had probably just punished me by making me sit through three hours of this thingy thinking that MAYBE I had a shot at heaven when actually? ACTUALLY? NO CHANCE AT ALL. God has abadoned me to begin with right from the start. I'm damned forever. So I looked at Neptune and said, "God has given up on us!" and I was very sad. I find it very difficult to wrap my head around exactly why I deserve to go straight to hell when all I've done is fall in love with another person.
Comments closed because I'm moody.
Labels: GLBT, hissy fit, Neptune
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