Oh yeah. Join me as I savor what most likely marks the first time in five years (and the second time in twenty) that I have failed a paper. I've considered suicide but it is seriously too much of a hassle to kill oneself and besides, it is illegal and I am a thoroughly law-abiding citizen except when I watch the occasional pirated video. So instead of stabbing myself with a toothpick, Imma try this new thing out to combat law school induced depression, and it's called Giving Thanks For The Little Things!
I'll start with the obvious ones. Neptune, who is undoubtedly the one I will spend the rest of my life with. I know you disillusioned old fogies will laugh at me and be all, oh, you're twenty, what do you know? Well, I will let you know what I have always known when Neptune and I celebrate our 50th anniversary -- if you're still alive by then.
I give thanks for Neptune's family, who treats me as one of their own and whom I owe lots of money but can never seem to return enough money to because they always insist on picking up the tab. All the same, they are like the functional family I never had and I love every moment around them, and feeling included.
Also, I give thanks for my adorably dysfunctional family, who loves me unconditionally except if they were to find out about my political and GLBT-related views, or about my oniomania and shopping sprees, or about how bad my grades really are, or about how likely I am to flunk out of law school because I am stupid that way AND I AM PROUD OF IT! Well, not really, but I'd rather pretend. Please pretend with me.
And thank you Lord for the cute pair of designer jeans I wore today, because the last thing I needed to worry about was whether my fat butt looked fat. Which means, of course, since I even considered how fat my fat butt was, that I did in fact worry about how fat my fat butt looked, which then negates what I'd just said about my jeans, but once again I implore you to be delusional with me because it sometimes gets lonely when I am the only person beating myself up.
Also not forgetting my best friends, one of whom may be in a life-threatening situation and many of whom spent my birthday with their significant others; I love you, you know that right? I also give thanks for each and every one of my friends, the ones who gave me awesome birthday presents, the ones who didn't, the ones who forgot, and most of all the ones who never contact me unless they need something from me.
>:(
This does not seem to be working.
Labels: GLBT, hissy fit, In-Laws, Neptune, oniomania, self-effacing
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Angelique
20 nov 1988
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