It's raining noodles!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 @ 09:37

Hypo the Hypochondriac Hyppo

I think I am a hypochondriac. The fact that I made that statement really goes to show how neurotic I am, but then again it would not be proof of hypochondria if I am indeed a hypochondriac. There are eleventeen thousand different useless things that I could be worrying about and I worry that I can't worry about them all, and in doing so, miss out on the worrying about something actually worth worrying about, and then I'd be sorry. Also I am a little messed up in my head right now. It is a very confusing place, which is probably what keeps me blogging: It's so much easier to believe that you actually make sense when you put it in words. You see? This whole paragraph was bullshit but it sounded like I actually had something worthwhile to say.

On to the hypochondria. I came to that conclusion yesterday afternoon, after checking on Maki for the thousandth time that day. Maki and Mochi always seem very frightened and frantic when it rains, and two nights ago during a particularly heavy thunderstorm, I held them hamsters in my palm until I was sure that the thunder and lightning were moving further away. It had nothing to do with the fact that I myself am afraid of thunder and lightning, and found comfort in two hamsters that fit on my palm at the same time. Not at all.

Suddenly, Maki trembled.

I freaked out because I thought she was having a stroke, so I placed Mochi back into the cage and turned Maki around on my palm to face me. She shuddered again, violently, as if scared shitless. She must have shuddered at least six times during the few minutes that I held her, and right after I returned her to the cage, I dove into the wealth of knowledge and useless information that is The Internets (see: cyberchondria) and found that shivering is a symptom of...

HAMSTER DIABETES.

Which made sense to me at that point of time, because Maki and Mochi have become incredibly tame in the past week, and every single time they look at me with those wee watery hamstery eyes of theirs, I CRUMBLE. I stumble and then I give in, I absolutely give in to those glistening eyes and I offer them a piece of fruit. OR TWENTY MILLION PIECES OF FRUIT.

Anyways, long story short: I realized that Maki only shivered whenever I lifted her up and exposed her tummy to the draft, ie. she shivered only because she was cold. Of course my hypochondriac brain could not process this and went on to berate myself for hypochondria, paranoia, insanity, obsessive-compulsive disorder, oniomania, autism, ... The list goes on.

Maki is fine now and has not shivered since that cold, windy night, during which common sense fell out of my brain and got lost along the way.

Also, I got unnecessarily stressed while Neptune was on a flight back home. I don't know if it's because she is so important to me or if it's because I need professional help with managing my various mental abnormalities, but last night I kept worrying about the plane and terrorist hijacking and lizards on the aircraft (she is terrified of lizards), and then I had a nightmare in which I cut the wrong wire and everything was going to be blown up, only it was a reality TV show and instead of the bomb detonating, lots of candy and marshmallows fell out of the ceiling and showered upon the audience. So I woke up in shock and went SHOPPINGGGGGG! Because that is my natural reaction to stress. And I bought my own web domain, which I will update you on another time!

I also cannot sleep right now even though it's 9.30AM, approximately ten hours past my usual bedtime. I'm meeting Neptune and Mrs. In-Law later for the first time in three months, and I am SO EXCITED! <3

Labels: dream log, In-Laws, Maki/Mochi, Neptune, OCD, oniomania, self-effacing, weird shit